The Good and The Bad

There are so many things I love about this country; how there is always cake no matter where you are, slugs with trails of slime behind them, the way everyone will explain the word hygge to you - my list truly could go on forever. Yet I am still finding myself with struggles. In my last post, I mentioned that an exchange isn't always full of excitement and joy. I realize that I did not elaborate on this enough. The following blogpost will take you through some of the doubts and uncertainties I face everyday.

For starters, I miss home. I miss the way my mom would fist bump me and say play tough, or test tough, or work tough. I miss driving and not having to pay through the nose for public transportation. I miss being a regular at Tokyo Grill. Not only do these things make me homesick, but I feel guilty for thinking about them when I have been given this amazing opportunity. Something they tell you at orientation is to be present, so I am constantly questioning myself with "am I present enough?" If that even makes sense.

Another thing I struggle with is my progress with Danish, or lack thereof. It feels as if no matter how hard I try, I am not getting anywhere. Yes, the amount of Danish I know has completely doubled. Yes, I can now pick words out in sentences, and have a general understanding of what is going on. But this doesn't feel like enough - it feels like I am failing. I have set a goal that on my 100th day here, November 17th, people will only speak to me in Danish; I am completely terrified of this. I have exactly 40 days to be at a level that I am nowhere near. I keep telling myself that I will get there and by my 100th day, I will be at that level. But what if I'm not? What if I am setting myself up for failure? How will I handle this failure? Am I putting too much pressure on myself?

Citing orientation once again: they tell you that staying busy will make your exchange better and more fun, this is completely true. I try to stay busy but it is virtually impossible. Without homework, errands, works, and other miscellaneous tasks, I have a lot of free time. I try to hang out with my friends from school, but they have to work, or our (crazy) physics teacher gave them an assignment that will take them hours to complete. I am constantly racking my brain for things to do, but usually end up with nothing so I go home and fill the vacant times with naps, movies, and junk food. While this is fun the first few times, it gets old fairly quickly. I am worried that after language school ends, my days are going to be entirely like this, and I am going to be perpetually bored.

Lastly, I struggle with not constantly have excitement. Something I hadn't necessarily braced myself for was having days, or weeks, where I stick to my routine and don't do something specifically terrific. I had heard about this "phenomenon" by rebounds, and other exchange students, but I guess I hadn't really listened. This again falls into the category of self doubt and wasting my exchange with nothingness.

When you put all these struggles together, it gets a bit overwhelming. Sometimes little things will just push me over the edge and I just break down, like at the bus station in Karup. I also know that these struggles are considered normal along the "exchange student curve" that they talked so much about at orientation so hopefully I will get over this hump quickly.

On a happier note, this weekend was my host sisters actual birthday! After a soccer game, which we lost, I came home, showered quickly, then had a very hyggeligt dinner with my some my host family and host relatives. This was followed by a very interesting, but delicious cake. Essentially, it tasted like popovers covered in frosting, marzipan, and various candies, and it was shaped like a girl. I ate a few too many pieces and went to bed.

A member of my Rotary club and his wife took me to an event at the Asmild Church. The event was a tour and explanation of the gardens, following with a concert from Viborg's Chamber Choir. Not yet knowing Danish botanical words, the explanations of the plant life and uses were not very interesting. But going inside the church was. It was built in 1090, making it one of Denmark's oldest churches. The music at the concert was wonderful and after I got to do a little exploring.

Future exchange students: ignore my whining and turn your application in. You only have a few days left! This experience is truly one of the best things out there and you will not regret coming.

Alt for nu! Farvel.

Signe's Birthday Cake.

The church altar.

Church from the balcony.

Blazer Update.